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Post by Sarah on Oct 15, 2016 17:33:37 GMT
I'm gonna die soon. I know I can be melodramatic about this type of thing, but I feel like I'm coming to tne end of my life.
My breathing is frequently laboured and I'm weak after doing the simplest of tasks. I've been to the docs a year or so ago and they gave me an inhaler and diagnosed asthma but I think it's more than that. I don't think it's asthma. I think me lungs and heart are fucked. My anxiety meant that I was permananetly on edge, which makes me feel very guilty about how I've been with my family. But it wouldn't have been here at all if I could have controlled the unholy, life scarring fucker.
If you don't hear from me again - Goodbye Cruel World!
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Post by Sarah on Oct 30, 2016 23:02:52 GMT
Particularly Kao, Jude and Freya - though a sincere thank you to anybody who kept me company and listened to my insane whining over the years. I'm hoping for a swift heart attack or something which means I won't linger. I have to quote a Shaye Saint John post here:
Shaye Saint John's Living Will.
If for any reason I become a breathing vegetable,remove the tube. My eyes do not follow the mickey mouse balloon,you are only deceiving yourself and causing me more torment. Remove the tube. Do not put your face 3 inches from mine asking me,in a soft voice,if I "want to say something?". I will not know you are there. My brain has liquified and I do not comprehend a single thing. Remove the tube. Do not video tape me for 6 hours to enable you to edit 20 seconds of me jerking and twitching. These responses are not signs of anything more than my body jerking and twitching, involuntarily. I think,therefore I am. I twitch,therefore I was. I am not alive anymore. I am just breathing and twitching. Remove the tube. I did a lot of jerking and twitching while I was alive so rest assured,I have had my fill. Please do not put make-up on my face to show me off to the right wing establishment. I was not part of there agenda when I was alive and do not like to be a pawn to there plans when I am a vegetable. Please,remove the tube. Please let fond memories of me be enough to sustain you. Do not let selfish reasoning misdirect logical thought. If you must prolong the inevitable please let it last no longer than one year. In that year try to come to terms with what I have requested and be brave enough to remove the tube. If Kiki wants to do the honors let her. I have spoken with her of my desire and she is keen to be part of the festivities. I would do the same for her if such a situation arose. I,Shaye Saint John,do not wish to be kept alive through artificial means. Please let me go,since I am already gone. Please,remove the tube.
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Post by blackgoat on Feb 11, 2023 1:15:35 GMT
I was thinking the other day what the board would've been like during the pandemic, disappointed to see it ended here.
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Post by José Carioca on Feb 11, 2023 21:10:42 GMT
Much better.
No one will probably ever see this but, rereading things, I am amazed at how much of insufferable contrarian asshole I actually was, and equally amazed you all put up with me for so long. I look back at young me with such regret.
In any case, I hope Sarah's not dead and Freya's enjoying her new life.
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